When I recorded the song, I thought of it concerning the courage it produced in me regarding my career, my mom’s passing, and the surgery I’d just had, and how it would encourage and inspire other people as well. What Linwood didn’t count on was the impact of “I Will Survive” and how much it would do for me.
It’s enough to say, as I often do, that I stayed at that party way too long. He had no concept of commitment and thought a grown man should be free to do whatever he wanted, stay out all night as many nights as he liked-so he did. I think he became so self-absorbed that he didn’t care if he was being hurtful to me. But he took disrespect and disregard to a whole new level.
He was supportive as far as my career was concerned-physically protective and affectionate. Linwood wasn’t all that bad as a husband. I wasn’t the perfect wife, but I was attentive, trusting, reassuring, supportive, affectionate, loving, caring, and faithful. Like so many innocent women, I thought, now that we’re married, things will be different our focus will be on building a happy family together. Within a year I had a massive hit with “I Will Survive,” and Linwood and I were married. Gripped with fear of abandonment, physical handicap, and showbiz obscurity, I reached out to Him for help. People were going around the record company saying, “The Queen is dead.” Was I simply a one-hit wonder with “Never Can Say Goodbye”? During the three-month hospital stay that followed, God got my attention. I ended up in the hospital for spinal surgery.
One night, at one of my shows, I had an accident onstage and woke up the next morning paralyzed from the waist down. As he began to molest me, I looked up at him and said, “My mommy’s not gonna like this!” I innocently allowed him to lead me into the bedroom, where he proceeded to lift me onto the bed and remove my panties. I had come to think of them as an aunt and uncle, so it was not strange to me when John invited me up to their apartment to have cookies and milk. One day Mary went to the hospital to deliver their first child. I often visited them, and they played with me every day. There was a young, childless couple, John and Mary, who lived on the second floor. When I was five years old, we moved from an apartment building to a two-family house. I had no uncles-my mother was an only child-and my father had two sisters but no brothers. Too few people know the devastating long-term effects that can ravage the life of a child raised without a father-or at least a good father figure. I grew up in a single-parent home with a single mother and six siblings-therein lay the crux of my problems.
0 kommentar(er)
